Just Another Day at Devil May Cry
by Shadow-of-a-Wolf
Summary: It was just another slow day at the office for your favorite devil hunter and his brother. That is until it happened . . .


Just another installment of your favorite Sparda twins fighting with each other over what ever they can think of. By the way I don't own any DMC related thing that may appear in this short . . . very short comedy. I mean seriously try suing us for goofing off and we will each give you half a cookie. So for wasting you time you get one possibly mix-match cookie. Yea suing somebody doesn't sound so tempting now huh? Let's begin.

Just Another Day at Devil May Cry

Dante and his brother were having an argument over who was the cooler twin. Then they decided to settle it the best way they knew how old fashion swords fight. Here's what happened after the fight was over and they decided to put of the argument for now.

Vergil: Damn it! You got blood all over my cravat! This is your fault you know.

Dante: My fault?! If u hadn't stabbed me-- U know what, I'm going to Lady's place tonight.

Vergil: Oh really? Going to go make another strawberry sundae? Here's a reminder when doing exotic things with food try not to get the syrup on your pants.

Dante: Really funny Verg. I know you ran out of hair gel, so the only explanation I can think of for your hair, is shock treatments from a certain blonde in a certain place.

Vergil: ... keep my wife outta this!

Dante: Ok ok. Chill but I gotta say nice touch how she can go from black to white in the blink of an eye, don't cha think?

Vergil: just a costume Dante.

Dante: Yea a costume that I basically ended up paying for. So where's my money bro?

Vergil: Hey, Dante... Look over there runs away

Dante: Huh. . . . . Looks back Oh no you don't, your not getting away Vergil! Don't make me go Stewie Griffin on your ass bro!

Dante: Summons his shadow Oh yeah! Been a while since I did this. Play times over!

Vergil: Oh shit! Summons spirit swords

Dante: So that's how you wanna play? Takes out Nevan and starts summoning bats

Vergil: teleports behind Dante, twists his arm and brings yamato up to his throat SAY IT! SAY IT BITCH!

Vergil: SAY UNCLE!

Dante Uses Quicksilver to get out then sucker punches Vergil I'd rather say you need a DAMN TIC TAC!

Vergil: Let's get this party started! Puts on Beowulf

Dante: Grabs Cerberus Fine with me! One chilled kung fu dickhead coming up!

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING SCENES WERE TAKEN OUT DO TO GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. I MEAN IT THERE WAS ENOUGH BLOOD AND GORE TO MAKE YOU CRINGE AND THROW UP. AND NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULED PROGRAMING.

After the clean up the office sine you know the girls would have a fit. They continue their talk.

Vergil: wags his finger and tosses Gilgamesh Fair is fair.

Dante: This coming from a guy who gets an upgrade every time we fight!

Vergil: I give you fair chances to land a blow. It's not my fault that a lot of our encounters end with you getting impaled.

Dante: Not your fault?! Here's one for you on top of the tower, you had the amulet then you had to play badass and stab me with my own sword. Fucking prick! And speaking of swords Yamato do you use that thing for making crack or something because Nero was getting a pretty big high from it.

Vergil: Helped u go through demonic puberty, didn't it? And I like to stay out of Nero's drug use

Dante: Mumbles under his breath MmhguessArkham helped you with your pubertymmmm

Vergil: I guess... Points out the white powder under Dante's nose

Dante: Hey it was a thank you present from Nero for helping rescue his sweet Kyrie.

Vergil: And that's why you're so energetic and can run across the screen in the blink of an eye.

Dante: Well I'd better be known for that than some uptight aristocrat with failed dreams. That's right your old plan was a big steaming pile of FAIL!

Vergil: emo corner... even his hair is emo now

Dante: Ah dammit! Pull yourself together before our wives get here and see this.

Vergil: cuts... heal... cuts... heals... cuts... heals Why isn't it working?!

Dante: Grabs a beer and throws it at his brother, then shoots a hole in it as the beer spills on the new cuts Get your ass up already dammit!

Vergil: weeps

Dante: Picks up Rebellion to smack his brother, then he hears a knock at the door Oh crap here come the girls.

Vergil: drops razor Hide me! If Trish finds m she'll want make-up sex... And she's a little rough.

Dante: Damn! upset he pushes his bro into the closet and goes to the door always gotta clean up his messes. At least I'll have some fun since Agni and Rudra are in that closet. I'd like to see how long he can last. Opens the door and lets the ladies in.

Trish: Hi Dante... seen my husband around?

Dante: Hey ladies and oh yeah Vergil well he should be showing up in about five . . . . . . four . . . . . . . three . . . ... .two. . . . . .one.

Vergil: Jeeeezus!! Stumbling out of the closet to get away from the talkative swords

Dante: See right on time. Grabs Lady and decides it be best if they were to leave.

Vergil: Don't Gooooooo! Don't leave me alone with her!

Dante: Later Verg and consider any stunts or moments we've had where we went to far trying to get at each other just as dead as demon dust.

Vergil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Claws at the floor boards as Trish drag's him away

Lady: Giving Dante a "what in the world happened" look Do I even want to know?

Dante: Trust me, you don't.

Vergil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dante: How about some . . .

Lady: Let me guess pizza and sure as long as your paying.

They walk off, as more loud noises ring from inside the shop.

Please review or my co writer will hurt me. She does unspeakable things when she is unhappy.

I mean it people my well being depends on your reviews. Just another goofing off story brought to you by EricDraven201 and Shadow-of-a-Wolf. Just like the story Dante vs. Leon. Please review and check out the other stories under my name and my partner EricDraven201.


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